


Connections

by transeskel (transxiety)



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Abuse, Anal Sex, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Growing Up Together, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Kaer Morhen, M/M, Minor Character Death, Nonbinary Character, Original Character(s), Original Male Character(s) - Freeform, Original Nonbinary Character(s) - Freeform, Physical Abuse, Threesome - M/M/M, Torture, Trans Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Trans Male Character, Trial Of The Grasses (The Witcher), Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, nonbinary vesemir, orignal female character(s) - Freeform, trans eskel, yeah we got gorl witchers baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:13:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24315607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transxiety/pseuds/transeskel
Summary: “I’m not abandoned.” He said quietly.“Son-”“I know you think I am,” He went on, “but I’m not. My mother loved me, she didn’t say it, but I know it. She fed me good food, and let me play until evening, and would kiss me on the forehead at night. Sometimes I’d do bad things, and she wouldn’t even use a switch on me! Not like some of the kids I met. See? She loved me.”“But she called you a girl,” Vesemir pointed out gently, “even though you told her you were a boy.”“She didn’t have to love me,” He said, crossing his arms.“Oh boy,” Vesemir said softly, a sad look in their eyes, “but she did.”A fic examining the lives and relationships of witchers
Relationships: Eskel/Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Eskel/Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Lambert, Eskel/Lambert (The Witcher), Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Lambert
Comments: 19
Kudos: 143





	1. Magnolia - Naming

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first fic!  
> I really love the witchers, especially the wolves of Kaer Morhen, and wanted to write about their experiences. This fic will take inspiration and events from all witcher media but will only focus on the witchers.  
> I'll post warnings here before every chapter so please check my notes! I don't plan on going very dark with this fic but there will be hurtful themes.  
> Also this in un-beta'd so pointing out any mistakes would be appreciated!
> 
> Warnings for this chapter are:  
> child abandonment  
> transphobia (very minor, briefly mentioned, nonviolent)  
> rough treatment of children (very minor, nonviolent)

He dropped the bucket and ran. 

He ran as fast as his legs could carry him. He ran until he was gasping for air. He didn’t look back, knew he’d scream as soon as he did. He ran until his legs jolted in pain. 

He knew he had a head start, he heard the footsteps pounding behind him, but what he didn’t know is that it was utterly hopeless. 

He would never outrun the stranger with the golden viper eyes. 

Suddenly he was scooped up, he screamed and kicked out. Desperately trying to get out of their hold. He just had to get to his mother, he just had to get to Visenna. 

“Hey!” They cried out as he landed a kick to the ribs, “Listen girl-”

“I’m not a girl!” He screamed and threw a pitiful punch at their face. 

Their face was wrinkly with a dark beard speckled with gray, they had golden eyes framed by crow’s feet that terrified him, and they had long dark hair with silver streaks. If he quieted down he would notice the stranger had a very kind demeanor, and was even impressed with his punch, but he was too terrified without his mother in sight to notice anything really. 

“Alright boy? Kid? Ow! Hey! Just listen, I’m not gonna hurt you!” They said grappling with him and somehow failing. What he didn’t know is that they dealt with children all the time, even distressed ones, but never any with this much goddamn _fight_ in them. 

“Fuck off!” He yelled, remembered hearing it once from a man who laid in his mother's extra bed, holding his arm to his chest. 

“God's kid calm down, I’m not gonna hurt you- Ow!” and with a hard bite to the hand he was free. 

He unfortunately didn’t get far, the stranger quickly grabbed him. Unfortunately they didn’t get a good hold on him, and he quickly fell down and with a shout scraped his elbow. 

“Get away from me!” He yelled, tears forming in his eyes. 

For the most part the fight left him. He was tired, he was scared, and he just wanted his mother. He looked down at the blood welling up from his elbow, and promptly burst into tears. 

If his mother was here she would calmly walk up to him, kiss his forehead, and heal his elbow quickly. He would not see the sad look in her eyes, or the way she frowned slightly, but he would feel safe and calm down quickly. 

His mother was not here though, there was only an old stranger he didn’t know. A stranger with a worried look on their face as they knelt down in front of the boy. 

“I’m sorry,” they said gently. 

He looked up with a sob, slightly shocked. He noticed the kindness in their eyes, he noticed their outstretched hand, not demanding, but waiting. He reached forward and grabbed their hand, letting them pull him up. 

“I got some bandages for that scrape, would that help?” They asked. 

Geralt nodded, it’s not like his mother’s healing, but it would do. 

He sniffed as they wrapped a white cloth around his elbow. Their hands felt rough, but they were very gentle while wrapping the cloth and tying it off. He felt a little better about the stranger now, even if they were old and their eyes were a little scary. 

“Now, how about we sit down and talk?” They said gently. 

They walked off the main road and sat against a large tree. He studied the patches of sunlight and the way the shadows moved, it was like a pattern. He studied the nuts and dried fruits in their hands, unsure if he should eat them, when his stomach gave a large growl and he quickly decided. 

“So what’s your name kid?” They asked. 

He shoved some fruit in his mouth and mumbled, “dn’t have onmf.”

“Gods kid who taught you manners? Don’t speak with your mouth full.” 

He swallowed, “Don’t have one.” 

They nodded sympathetically, “I wasn’t given a name either-”

“I was given a name!” He shouted indignantly, “I just don’t like it!” 

They looked at him curiously, “Kid are you a boy or girl? Or neither? Possibly even both?” 

He looked at the stranger distrustfully. His mother always got mad when he insisted he was a boy, and he didn’t want them to get mad at him. Though they did give him food, and he does hate being called a girl. Maybe they could convince his mother to stop calling him a girl? It’s worth a shot. 

“I’m a boy, but ma gets mad when I say that. She won’t even give me a good name!” he said, very frustrated. 

The stranger got a very sad look in their eye, “and where is your mother?” 

“I don’t know!” he said, fear swirling in his gut, “She stopped the cart and asked me to get water, and I got the water and came back and she was gone! And you were standing behind me!” 

The stranger sighed, “I think I know what happened to your mother-” 

“Really where is she?” He demanded sitting up straight. 

“Hold on a minute boy,” They replied, he didn’t notice the fondness already in their eyes, “I have to explain a few things.” 

He nodded, willing to listen, then find his mother. 

“My name is Vesemir, and I’m a witcher, do you know what a witcher is?” 

He shook his head. 

“A witcher is someone who fights monsters, making sure they don’t hurt people. We go through trials to get special powers-”

“Is that why you have scary eyes?” He interrupted, he had to know. 

“Has anyone ever told you not to interrupt?” Vesemir says with a chuckle, “And they’re not scary they’re highly advanced, allowing me to see even in the dark-”

“Woah really? That’s so cool!” He yelled. 

“Quit interrupting!” They said ruffling his hair. 

He crossed his arms and huffed but decided to stay quiet. 

“Now where was I? Oh right- We go through trials to get special powers, these trials are dangerous but important. If we don’t go through the trials, there would be no witchers, and no witchers means utter catastrophe, many people would die.” 

He nodded, eyes wide, all attention on Vesemir. Hanging on to their every word, because it seemed so important. 

“Do you know who has to take these trials?” He shook his head no, “Those who are unwanted. Those who are given up, in one way or another. Whether abandoned in the streets, or at a dirty orphanage…” Vesemir paused and gave him a meaningful look, “or dropped off at our door steps.” 

His eyes widened with understanding, he leapt up with anger racing through him. 

“No! I’m not abandoned!” He yelled, “My mother’s coming back! And she’ll be real mad if you put me through these trials and mess up my eyes!” 

Vesemir continued to look at him, a deep sadness in their eyes, he didn’t even notice the familiarity. He didn’t know they had had this conversation multiple times. 

“Son, please calm down-” 

“No! She’s coming back for me Vesemir!” tears welling up in his eyes, “She’s coming back!” 

With that the boy collapsed with a sob, he barely noticed Vesemir picking him up and cradling him to their chest. He just clutched at their shirt and cried harder. He was so scared and so tired. 

He didn’t see the sad expression on Vesemir’s face, he didn’t notice their mouth open and close. He couldn’t know they were thinking they should tell him to stop, that crying will bring you no comfort and only expose you to weakness. He couldn’t know that’s what they were told when they were abandoned, that that’s what they were told to repeat to other children. 

He couldn’t know, at that time, but he would learn. 

For now, though, he was so sad, and scared, and tired. The arms wrapped around him weren’t too bad, and the warm chest and steady heartbeat underneath him was kind of nice. The rumbling of soft words made him feel a little less bad, and with one last soft sob, he fell asleep. 

~~~

He awoke in a bed. It definitely wasn’t his bed. His bed at home was filled with straw that always poked out, and a scratchy blanket, and no matter how much he complained his mother never fixed it. Always hushed him gently and pressed a kiss to his forehead and then he quickly fell asleep. 

He jolted up, looking around wildly, there were other beds, all empty. There were chests, and bookshelves, even a few toys. Toys much nicer than his back home. Though, why wasn’t he at home? 

It all came back to him, the carriage ride, Vesemir, everything. He was about to jump out of bed and run, he had no clue where to go, but he needed to run. 

Then the door opened, and he quickly hid under the covers, terrified of who was here. 

“Oh come on boy, there’s no need for that, I even brought you breakfast!” Said a cheery, familiar voice. 

He peeked out and there was Vesemir, smiling and holding two plates filled with eggs, bacon, cheese, and bread. His mouth watered and stomach growled, but he had a sick feeling in his stomach. 

“You got a big day ahead of you,” they said sitting down, “it’ll be a little scary, but it’s an important start to your training.” 

“I don’t want to train!” He cried out. 

“Ssh!” Vesemir hushed him quickly, “Listen I understand boy, really I do, but there’s people here you need to be careful around. They’ve got good hearts, but they don’t tolerate weakness.” 

“But I don’t belong here!” He insisted, “I’m not abandoned!” 

“Then why didn’t your mother wait for you?” They retorted. 

His eyes instantly filled with tears, he looked down at his hands with a trembling lip. Why didn’t she wait for him? He said he’d be right back with the water! And he got it! And it had only been a few minutes! Had there been monsters? Had monsters got her?!

“Shit.” They swore under their breath, “Okay, okay sh, sh, let’s not think about that? Look I brought all this food! I figured you’d be a little overwhelmed and the others agreed so I thought we could eat in here toge-” The tears spilled over his eyes, “-ther. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.”

“Listen son take a deep breath okay? You’re safe here and that’s all that matters, look at how nice this room is too? There’s cool toys-”

“Why are all the beds empty?” He asked, wiping his eyes. 

Vesemir gave him a fond smile, “The group before you went through their trials, so now the sur- they get new rooms! Don’t worry, the beds will fill up soon. A couple of elder witchers went out in spring and should be back soon.”

“Why’d they leave,” He asked with a sniff.

“To look for those who are abandoned, orphans, beggars, sometimes from parents with too many mouths to feed, maybe even a child surprise.” Vesmir said thoughtfully. 

“I’m not abandoned.” He said quietly. 

“Son-” 

“I know you think I am,” He went on, “but I’m not. My mother loved me, she didn’t say it, but I know it. She fed me good food, and let me play until evening, and would kiss me on the forehead at night. Sometimes I’d do bad things, and she wouldn’t even use a switch on me! Not like some of the kids I met. See? She loved me.” 

“But she called you a girl,” Vesemir pointed out gently, “even though you told her you were a boy.” 

“She didn’t have to love me,” He said, crossing his arms. 

“Oh boy,” Vesemir said softly, a sad look in their eyes, “but she did.” 

~~~

He didn’t have a good day. 

Vesemir was right about one thing, it was scary. 

He refused to eat breakfast, saying his mother would come soon and she would feed him. Vesemir poked and prodded, even eating their breakfast right in front of him. 

Finally he caved in when they said they’d get him a gift for the end of the day if he ate the cheese and bread. He was hungry anyway, and a gift did sound nice. Visenna gave him lots of gifts. 

Soon after someone banged on the door and yelled at Vesemir to get the kid out here. Vesemir handed him clean clothes and told him to get dressed quickly. His tone had changed from before, it was a lot stricter. He wanted to protest but he bit his tongue when there was another bang and he hurriedly put on the clothes. 

The door opened to someone absolutely terrifying. 

She wore a tattered tank top and tight pants, and no boots. She was covered in scars, thick one spanning across her arms, and one terrifying one on her throat. Vesemir called her Samah and said she would be taking him to the baths then the doctor. He couldn’t say anything and just nodded. The woman grinned at him and beckoned him to follow her. 

“You’ll be fine,” Vesemir said softly, and they walked out the door. 

The baths were just as terrifying as the lady. She ordered him to strip and get in. He did slowly and she barked at him, 

“If you’re that slow in your training you’ll be the first to break, hurry up boy!” Samah barked.

He bit back a whimper and stripped and got in the bath. Samah ordered him to scrub thoroughly. He was grateful that she didn’t scrub him, but she did order him to scrub harder and directed him to clean himself. By the end of it he felt rubbed raw. 

Samah then directed him to get out and dry off. As soon as he put his clothes back on she was walking off, saying it was time to go to the doctor.

He hated the doctor. 

The doctor was an old, old man, older than Vesemir even, and was missing an eye! Which is even worse than having two scary eyes! 

The doctor poked and prodded him, looked at his teeth, studied his eyes, moved his legs and arms, listened to him breathe, and checked his hair for lice. The doctor even called him a girl but Samah snapped at him and he mumbled boy. 

After what felt like forever Samah said it was time to leave the doctor and start his training. He felt nervous anticipation, he was a little scared but very curious as to what training was. 

Training wasn’t fun. 

Training was doing stretches for hours with older kids and Samah and getting yelled at for moving when he wasn’t supposed to. Training was also lifting heavy weights that Samah laughed and said were light. Training was running around a courtyard and getting yelled at for falling behind the older kids. 

He soon grasped that the trials were not just hard. He heard many witchers mutter under their breath when he didn’t do good. Even Samah alluded to it when he fell behind. No one spoke it out loud, but he saw the lingering fear in the others kids eyes. That fear soon planted itself in him, making his chest tight and his stomach ache. 

He missed his mother, his home. He missed his scratchy bed and the shed out back that he’d play in. 

He knew he wasn’t abandoned, and that his mother would be here soon. Though he was already really tired, and very scared. 

When would his mother get here? 

~~~

The training stopped for a moment, Samah yelled that it was time for lunch. She handed him a small chicken sandwich and some water and told him to eat it quickly but too quickly, otherwise he’d get sick. 

All he could do was nod tiredly and move to sit down, but before he could Samah grabbed his shoulder,

“You know boy you did pretty good!,” She said with a small smile, “On my first day I threw up and passed out just trying to do the stretches.” 

And with a low chuckle she turned and walked into the keep. 

He slumped against the wall with his food and water, the other kids glanced at him but ultimately turned back to their conversations. 

He hoped his mother found him soon. 

~~~

Training started back up soon, and soon it was the evening and time for dinner. He honestly didn’t feel very hungry, and he also heard lots of voices in the dining hall. Samah was busy yelling at two of the older kids for trying to sneak some alcohol for themselves, so he quietly wandered back to his room. 

He wandered the halls for a bit, not sure where his room was exactly. A couple of old witchers noticed him, but one just laughed and tugged the other along. 

Eventually he found his room and quietly slipped inside, and immediately collapsed on his bed. 

He honestly wanted to cry, today had been scary and terrible and it had now been _two days_ since he last saw his mother. What if Vesemir was right? What if he was abandoned? That means no one loves him, if his mother no longer loves him that means no one can. 

He sniffled, but he was too tired to even shed a tear.   
~~~

He heard the door slip open and sat up. 

There he saw Vesemir slip into the room. 

“I thought you’d be in- oh!” they said in surprise. 

He had shot across the room and threw himself at Vesemir, wrapping his arms tightly around their waist. He heard them chuckle, 

“Surprisingly enough I missed you too son, now come on I have a little bit of food for you.” 

He moved back to his bed and sat down, and Vesemir sat down right beside him, and handed him a bag. 

He looked inside to see more dried fruit and nuts, and quickly shoved a few in his mouth. 

Vesemir looked at him in amusement, “Just so you know it’d be wise not to sneak away from your trainers, you’re lucky Samah secretly has a soft heart and is easily bribed. Also, she likes you.” 

“She doemfs?” he asked right after shoving a handful of food in his mouth. 

“Gods boy please tell me you’ll learn some manners.” 

He shrugged, “maybe.” 

“You know if you stick around you might learn some.” Vesemir said quietly. 

He swallowed. “Yeah alright, at least until my mother finds me.” 

They sighed, “Of course son.” 

They sat there in silence, him munching away. The sun soon set and the stars appeared, and still they sat, surprisingly comfortable with each other. 

“Vesemir?”

“Yeah?” 

“You said you’d get a gift for me?” 

“That I did.” 

“Did you seriously get me bland fruit and nuts as a gift?”

Vesemir barked out a laugh, “Gods I like you boy, and no, I didn’t. I got something you really need.” 

“What?”

“A proper name, one fitting a boy such as yourself.” 

He sucked in a breath, heart pounding. 

“How does Geralt sound to you?” They said softly. 

“It sounds great,” Geralt said, a grin forming on his face. 

“I’m glad you think so,” Vesemir said fondly. Geralt couldn’t know this, but he’d soon learn, Vesemir wasn’t supposed to feel this much fondness for him. 

But they did. 

~~~

“So is that it?” 

“What do you mean? Of course that’s it.” 

“Well I need a last name too! And a middle name too! Do you want me to get captured by fairies?” 

A snort, “At this point it might be a blessing.” 

“Hey!” 

~~~

“So how does _Geralt Roger Eric du Haute-Bellegarde_ sound?” 

“Geralt, I swear to the gods…”


	2. Magnolia - Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Hi!” He squeaked.  
>  “Hello?” The boy said, not squeaked.  
> Geralt cleared his throat, “So what’s your name?” Then Geralt remembered Vesemir’s lessons in manners, “Or do you not have a name?”  
> Geralt couldn’t see it, but Vesemir winced.  
> Somehow the boy seemed to look even more intensely at him, “Um...I do. My name’s Eskel,” and after a brief pause, “do you not have a name?”  
> Neither of the boys noticed Vesemir starting to snicker._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably clarify the chapters will rarely be in order. I have two more planned to connect to this but after that it's really whatever comes to mind. Also soon there's gonna be smut soon >:3c 
> 
> Like I said before please tell me if there are any mistakes!
> 
> No warnings for this chapter, just baby Geralt getting used to Kaer Morhen and baby Eskel being introduced!

Visenna still hasn’t come. 

It had been an entire month since Geralt was left out along the path, and that month was really starting to weigh down on him. 

He would sometimes get reminders of Visenna, the smell of sweet pea blossoms, the taste of her favorite food, sometimes he swears he hears her gentle voice, but no matter what it is it causes a fierce ache in his chest. 

More often than not he would wake up crying from nightmares, he always cried out for Visenna but she never came. Only Vesemir would quietly walk in and rub his back till he fell back asleep. 

They were coming in less and less now though. Geralt had noticed the master witchers glaring at Vesemir in the great hall. Last time they snuck into his room one of the masters grabbed their arm at dinner and tugged them to the side of the hall. 

Geralt couldn’t hear what the master said but he looked so angry it sent shivers down Geralt’s spine. 

Vesemir didn’t look scared at all though, just crooked an eyebrow and nodded their head. 

Geralt had no idea how Vesemir was so brave. The master witchers were the meanest witchers and Vesemir just brushed them off with a chuckle or a nod. 

They even sparred with them sometime, and the masters fought even meaner than they talked. Vesemir would come out of those sparring sessions bruised and even bloody, and afterwards they would walk away with a slight limp and a light chuckle. 

Geralt once asked how Vesemir was so brave and he just responded, 

“Focus on your training son and you’ll be as brave as the rest of us.” 

Geralt desperately wanted to be brave, because if he was brave he wouldn’t be so scared anymore. He wouldn’t have nightmares and wouldn’t wake up crying, and he wouldn’t even bother Visenna.

If Geralt was brave he could help people, and fight monsters. He could even help Visenna heal people! He’d be a hero, and everyone loved heroes. 

~~~

Geralt hopped down from the climbing wall with a huff. 

Samah slapped him on the back and congratulated him, telling him it was his best time yet. 

Geralt couldn’t help but grin back at her.

Geralt had to admit, at first he hated training. Honestly, he _really_ hated training, but after awhile it had become soothing in a way. A tough distraction. 

It had helped that he had gotten better at all the exercises, and that the older kids started being nice to him and even encouraged him sometimes. They only teased and pranked him a little bit, and Samah always yelled at them for it, so it was okay.

Geralt did get sad though when the other kids moved on to do more complicated exercises while he still did the basic ones. He’d spend the afternoon and evening all alone with Samah, who only complimented him _after_ training. 

Samah kept assuring him that there would be more students his age and that the scouting group would return any day now. 

Geralt thought it was a good time to ask her again. 

“So when am I getting more kids to train with again?” he asked, tugging at Samah’s shirt. Samah snorted and swatted at Geralt’s hand, 

“First of all, I told you to quit doing that boy, and second of all, the lookouts saw fires off in the forest last night, the scouting party will probably get here in the evening.” 

“So the new kids will eat dinner with me?” 

“Yep, and you can finally stop eating with me and my friends.” 

“Good, your table is smelly.” Geralt said smugly. 

Samah’s mouth dropped, before Geralt could move she grabbed him and started ruffling his hair, causing him to scream with laughter. 

“Smelly? Smelly?! I’ll show you smelly! When’s the last time you bathed brat?” and with that she tossed the contents of her water bottle onto his head, causing him to laugh even harder. 

He didn’t notice Vesemir off to the side smiling at the two of them. Even if Geralt did notice them, he couldn’t know they were remembering fondly when Samah was young and in training. Couldn’t know that Vesemir taught the new kids basic exercises before he became a fencing teacher. 

Geralt still didn’t notice them as he shook his head, spraying water on to Samah, causing her to laugh even harder, and so he couldn’t notice when Vesemir’s smile turned to a frown. 

“Are you quite alright witcher Samah?” 

Geralt and Samah froze, then quickly straightened their clothes and stood straight, bowing their heads to master Vorzas. 

“Of course master witcher, Geralt and I were just taking a quick brea-” 

“If you don’t get back to training now it won’t be a quick break will it?” 

“Of course master witcher, we’ll get right to it.” 

“And Samah?”

“Yes?” 

“We are getting an entire group of new recruits this evening. I suggest you work on your discipline before then.”

“Of course sir.” 

Geralt quickly went back to climbing and the wall, trying to practice flexibility and agility. He tried to put the master witcher out of his mind and focus on grabbing one jutting brick then another. He decided to concentrate on his excitement for new students, how he’d no longer sleep alone, he’d get to play with other kids, and he’d get to encourage them like the older kids! 

Later when he hopped down he muttered to Samah, “The master witchers scare me.” 

“Gods me too boy,” she sighed, “But you have to keep in mind, they have our best interests at heart.” 

~~~

Geralt’s sitting alone. 

He was hoping the group would get here before now, so he doesn’t have to sit at a long empty table all by himself in the crowded great hall. 

He’s so far from Samah and her friends, she can’t even subtly shoot peas at him till he laughs. He thought he’d be happy to move to his own table, but he feels like he did when he first came to Kaer Morhen. 

Geralt shoves his food around on his plate and wonders if he can get away with telling Samah he has a stomachache. 

Then the gates of the main hall burst open. 

A group of older witchers walked into the hall shouting out greetings, and following close behind them is a group of about 10 kids. 

Geralt’s stomach erupted with anxiety as he saw the older witchers shake hands and hug different people, as the kids awkwardly stood behind them. 

Geralt’s anxiety grew even worse as he saw one of the boys glance over at him. Geralt’s sat at the only empty table in the whole great hall and he must stick out like a sore thumb. 

Geralt decided to stare at his food, but couldn't help but glance up at the boy. 

He had dark hair that was sticking up in every direction, and he stared at Geralt with eyes that looked black. He wore a ratty brown shirt with a large coat thrown over him. He seemed taller than Geralt, but he couldn’t be sure…

“You should go talk to him.” 

Geralt jumped and barely managed to stop a shriek from coming out. 

“Why should I?”

Vesemir fixed a knowing look on him, “Because you’ve been asking about new students everyday for the past month? Because you constantly complained about having no friends?”

Geralt's face heated up, “I did not!” 

“Did too, now go talk to him.” they pestered. 

Geralt hesitated, it couldn't be as easy as walking up to a kid and saying hi right? 

“You’re going to share a room with him, might as well talk to him.” 

Geralt still hesitated. 

Vesemir sighed, “What if I went with you?” 

Geralt brightened, “Okay!” 

He jumped off the bench and started walking over to the boy, though when he got a few steps away from him he started feeling nervous. He decided to tug on Vesemir’s shirt, but quickly realized he couldn’t find it. 

Geralt whipped around to see Vesemir with a grin, still sitting on the bench. Then when he turned back there was the boy standing right in front of him. 

The boy was definitely taller than Geralt, and he still looked at him with wide eyes. Geralt was now close enough to realize his eyes were a dark brown. 

Geralt realized the boy was looking at him curiously. 

“Hi!” He squeaked. 

“Hello?” The boy said, not squeaked. 

Geralt cleared his throat, “So what’s your name?” Then Geralt remembered Vesemir’s lessons in manners, “Or do you not have a name?” 

Geralt couldn’t see it, but Vesemir winced. 

Somehow the boy seemed to look even more intensely at him, “Um...I do. My name’s Eskel,” and after a brief pause, “do you not have a name?” 

Neither of the boys noticed Vesemir starting to snicker. 

“Oh I do! My name’s Geralt!” 

Eskel offered a small smile, “Nice to meet you Geralt.” 

~~~

Geralt had really hoped he would sleep soundly tonight. 

Instead he woke up gasping, crying out for Visenna. She wasn’t there, and neither was Vesemir, and now there were ten other kids in the room. 

Geralt saw one of the girls staring at him but she quickly rolled over and threw the covers of her head. The others seemed to also be ignoring him. Except for one. 

Geralt’s eyes locked with Eskel’s, and instead of hiding under the covers Eskel looked back. After what felt like hours of staring Eskel got up and walked over to Geralt’s bed. 

He grabbed Geralt’s hand, and in an impossibly soft voice asked, 

“Who’s Visenna?” 

“My ma,” Geralt replied, voice quivering. 

Eskel nodded, his eyes understanding. 

“I’m still thinking about my ma too, and my da.” 

“I never knew my da, all I had was her.” 

Eskel nodded and they sat there in silence. Geralt started feeling a lot calmer, but couldn’t help but ask,

“Do you think they’ll come back for you?”

Geralt could barely see in the dark, but in the soft moonlight coming from the window he could see Eskel’s eyes darken and his mouth frown. 

“No.” 

More silence passed. 

“Do you?” 

“What?” 

“Think she’ll come back?” 

And Geralt couldn’t help the tears in his eyes, and the quivering of his voice, or the way he squeezed Eskel’s hand, but he answered. 

“No.”


	3. Yarrow - the Trial of the Grasses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Eskel had gently asked how he had been brought here. He imagined it wasn’t a happy story, but he had wanted to know. Geralt had gotten quiet, and eventually had told Eskel everything._  
>  Any jealousy Eskel had felt before evaporated, he had completely understood why Geralt was Vesemir’s favorite. Eskel saw the kindness in their eyes, and the sorrow. He knew they would look at that scared boy all alone and grow immensely fond of him. It wasn’t the witcher way, as Eskel had heard many times, but Eskel thinks even Vesemir likes to break the rules from time to time.  
> As Eskel successfully parried one of Geralt’s blows and he saw pride fill his friends eyes, he thought he might have broken the rule too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is gonna Hurt
> 
> Warnings: child abuse, medical abuse, mentions of blood, vomiting, loss of senses, child death

Eskel snickered quietly when the bucket full of fish guts proceeded to fall on doctor Samuel’s head. 

The man swore and started trying to toss the fish guts out of his hair, and he struggled to succeed. 

Admittedly, Eskel did not snicker when Geralt laughed loudly, and the doctor fixed a glare in their direction. 

Eskel was already sprinting away, Geralt close behind him. 

Soon the doctor’s yells faded out and Eskel quickly turned into an alcove in the courtyard. They stood there a few minutes catching their breath, and promptly burst out laughing. 

“You idiot I told you to be quiet,” Eskel huffed with a smile. 

“I couldn’t help it! Did you see the look on his face? That’s what doctor Samuel gets for shoving that needle in so hard!” 

Eskel smiled knowingly, he also hated the doctor. What was that word Cirrive used again? 

“Yeah he’s an ass! He bruised my arms on my last visit!” 

“And who taught you that language?” 

Both boys jumped as Vesemir came into view and leveled a disapproving stare at them. 

“Uh- I heard the adults say it!” Eskel said quickly, not wanting to get his friend in trouble. 

Vesemir gave Eskel a look that told him they didn’t believe him, but thankfully they dropped the subject and moved on. 

“So who exactly is an ass?” 

“Doctor Samuel!” Geralt said, crossing his arms, “He shoved the needle in really rough! Like doctor Anama said not to!

“He also said I moved too much,” Eskel said quietly, “So he strapped me to the table and the straps left bruises on my arm.” 

Vesemir sighed and pinched the bridge of their nose, “So is the shouting I heard in any relation to this?” 

Eskel had the sense to at least look remorseful, though he truly didn’t feel that way. Geralt he noticed couldn’t help let a small smile loose. 

Vesemir sighed and knelt down in front of them, “I’m sorry he hurt you, but you can’t keep doing these childish antics, and more importantly you need to be able to handle the pain. You can’t be soft. You can’t be scared of bruises and needles. Your first trials are approaching soon and if you are weak you will die, understand?” 

With the mention of the trials fear curled in Eskel’s stomach. One glance at Geralt saw the same fear reflected in his eyes. They both learned about the trials soon after coming to Kaer Morhen, how in a few years time they would be strapped to tables and given potions, how there was a very high chance that they would die in agony. They both knew the time for the trials was coming, but they desperately tried to ignore it. Hence the prank. 

They both nodded solemnly, and with that Vesemir stood up. 

“I should whip your behinds raw but I’m feeling generous today, how about you go do kitchen duty and walk with a limp when Samuel’s around, how’s that sound?” 

They both nodded and ran off to the kitchen. 

~~~

Eskel woke with a start, he groggily looked around for what woke him and soon found it. 

Geralt didn’t cry or yell for his mother anymore, which was a blessing, but he did wake with a gasp and was usually unable to fall back asleep. 

Most of the kids got used to it and didn’t even wake up any more, but not Eskel. He woke up everytime Geralt did, and he always tiredly got up and padded over to his bed. 

Tonight was no different, he padded quickly but softly across the cold stone and got onto Geralt’s bed. He got underneath the covers and laid down facing Geralt. 

“Usual nightmare?” 

Geralt quietly shook his head, “different.” 

“What was it?” 

It was quiet for a long time. So long that Eskel thought Geralt had gone back to sleep and was about to doze off himself when Geralt spoke. 

“I was strapped to a table, and they poured fire down my throat. I tried to scream but I couldn’t. No one was there. I was all alone and in pain.” 

“I’ll be there.” Eskel said quietly. 

“I don’t think that’s a good thing.” 

“We won’t be alone, that’s a good thing.” 

Geralt grabbed his hand and squeezed it. 

“I don’t want to die,” Geralt murmured. 

“Me either.” Eskel replied. 

“I don’t want you to die.” 

“Me either.” 

“Are you gonna say anything else? You’re terrible at comforting me.” Geralt said with a tearful smile. 

“Can’t help it, I’m tired. Hard to be scared when you're tired.” Eskel shot back, even though they both knew that wasn’t true. 

“Alright sleepy head, go to sleep.” Geralt said, poking his side.

“Do you feel better?” 

Geralt paused for a moment. 

“Yeah, I do.” 

and with that reply Eskel fell asleep.

~~~

Geralt howled with victory as he held the wooden sword to Eskel’s throat. Eskel rolled his eyes, Geralt had been getting better at sword fighting and it was starting to get to his head. 

“Quit gloating boy and get back to it,” Vesemir snapped, “and Eskel, widen your stance and watch your left flank. Also Geralt’s weak spot is his right ankle.” 

“Hey!” 

Eskel nodded getting back to the first pose. Vesemir responded with a short nod and a barely perceptible smile, and went back to the other students. 

Geralt turned back to Eskel with a well-meaning glare. 

Geralt proved to be proficient at sword fighting soon after they started training, it took Eskel slightly longer to grasp but he soon got it. He knew Vesemir would deny it but they were proud of them both. Vesemir would always clap them on the back after training, and Eskel always noticed a soft look in their eyes. 

Vesemir was definitely one of the favorite teachers of the younger witchers, they were a lot kinder. Stern without being cruel. Eskel always felt happy when he saw Vesemir, he knew they cared about him. Though he also knew Geralt was their favorite. 

Eskel had recently dragged Geralt up to one of the unused rooms in the keep with some stolen snacks. They ate together, almost choking from laughter, and played around for a while until they collapsed from exhaustion. 

Eskel had gently asked how he had been brought here. He imagined it wasn’t a happy story, but he had wanted to know. Geralt had gotten quiet, and eventually had told Eskel everything. 

Any jealousy Eskel had felt before evaporated, he had completely understood why Geralt was Vesemir’s favorite. Eskel saw the kindness in their eyes, and the sorrow. He knew they would look at that scared boy all alone and grow immensely fond of him. It wasn’t the witcher way, as Eskel had heard many times, but Eskel thinks even Vesemir likes to break the rules from time to time. 

As Eskel successfully parried one of Geralt’s blows and he saw pride fill his friends eyes, he thought he might have broken the rule too. 

~~~

Eskel and Geralt stood silently in a group of dozens of kids. Eskel noticed some crying, some whispering to each other, some staring solemnly off into the distance, some were yelling, and a few even tried to run out of the room. They were all quickly stopped by the witchers guarding the door, and the fight soon left them as they were tugged back to the group. 

Eskel turned to Geralt, who looked at him with wide eyes filled with fear. Eskel knew his eyes reflected the same fear. 

He thought about making a run for it. Grabbing Geralt’s hand and running out the door while the guards are distracted, even though he knew they wouldn’t make it out of the keep. Even if they did, where would they go? They were abandoned. Unwanted. 

So Eskel just grabbed Geralt’s hand and squeezed it tightly. He tried to ignore the sounds of the doctor’s preparing the equipment and the screeching of tables being moved. Geralt started trembling and Eskel wished he could pull him into his arms and hold him tightly, but he knew the older witchers would yell at them. 

All the young witchers knew what was about to happen to them. They’ve heard the whispers since they all got here. They heard the muttering as the time for The Choice came. They knew there was no turning back. They ate the mushrooms, mosses, and herbs, and mourned as their peers died. They were all sat down and then explained to at length what the second trial was. What they would go through. They knew pain, sorrow, suffering, and death. 

That didn’t help them when faced with it. When they saw the hard tables, the straps to tie them down, the needles that will pierce them, and the stern faces of the doctors. 

Three out of ten kids survived the trial. There were twenty kids in the room. Eskel had never felt so small. So insignificant. He might die today and his body will be taken and burned with dozens of other kids without a second thought. Vesemir might feel sad, his friends might mourn him, but they all will cast him from their minds. 

He looked closely at Geralt, wanting to memorize his friend's face. This might be the last time he saw him alive, this may be the last time he squeezed his hand. 

It doesn’t feel like enough. He may _die_ and all Eskel would be able to do is watch. He could never see his friend again, he would never laugh with him, run around the keep with him, train with him, ever again. This wasn’t enough. This last moment wasn’t enough. 

Eskel had seen witchers show their affection by pressing their foreheads together. He knew it was very important, that it was a show of loyalty, trust, and love. He knew no witcher made that move lightly. 

With this possibly being the last moment he'll ever have with Geralt he felt overwhelmed, he wanted to do more than squeeze his hand. He wanted to comfort him. 

He yanked Geralt forward and before he could say anything he gently placed his hand on the back of his head and pressed his forehead to Geralt’s. He kept his eyes closed for a moment, and then opened them. Geralt stared back with bright green eyes, wide with shock. Eskel smiled gently at him, and Geralt’s eyes softened and he smiled back. For one moment, they were together, they were safe.

“First group! Kriva! Geralt! Emavorn! Lalli! Vinsolt!” 

The moment shattered. 

The fear was back and stronger than before. Too soon Geralt pulled away, gave him one last look, and walked towards the table. 

Eskel watched, wanting to look away, but knowing if his friend died and he didn’t notice he would never forgive himself. 

He wanted to tear his eyes away as Geralt was tied down, he wanted to cover his ears as the screaming started, he wanted to run away as he convulsed. He didn’t. 

His attention was momentarily drawn away as he heard doctors shouting, and dear gods did he wish that he had ignored them. 

A kid was thrashing wildly, with blood streaming down their face. Eskel stared in horror as blood poured out of their eyes, nose, mouth, and ears. The kid was seizing violently, then all of a sudden went completely still. 

Eskel could only stare into glazed over eyes. He could only stare as they placed the kid on a gurney and wheeled them out. He could only stare as the doctors wiped down the table and called the next name. 

“Onart!” 

Eskel snapped out of his shock and focused on Geralt. He was still moving and screaming, eyes shut tightly. It hurt so bad to see him like this, but Eskel couldn’t pull his eyes away. 

It seemed to stretch on for eternity, potions being administered to Geralt while he thrashed and screamed. Then he just. Stopped. 

He laid there silently, eyes closed, and Eskel held his breath. He heard one of the doctors say the trial had taken hold. The older witchers had told him that it would take hours, even days, for a young witcher to open their eyes. They said that even if the trial successfully took hold it did not guarantee their survival, only opening eyes that looked like a vipers did. 

Eskel counted the seconds, hoping for a miracle, hoping to see Geralt alive one last time. Each second he counted was a prayer, each second was a lifeline he grabbed onto. He wished with every second, for those eyes to open. 

His wish was granted. 

The doctors yelled as Geralt opened his eyes, moving from the gurney and back to the table. Eskel’s not sure what they were doing, he just stared at those golden slit eyes and dared to hope. 

They eventually deemed it safe to move him onto the gurney, their eyes wide with wonder. 

One of the other witchers started pushing Geralt, and Eskel realized they were going out the door right beside him. 

Geralt and Eskels eyes locked. Geralt looked at him, looked terrible and so weak, and he saw Geralt's mouth open but nothing came out but a hoarse breath, and his arm moved but flopped uselessly off the side, and just as Eskel is about to reach out and grab it he heard something that made him freeze. 

“Eskel!” 

Geralt passed him by, but he was safe now. 

Eskel was not. 

Eskel walked to the table, clenching his hands into fists, he couldn’t let them know he was shaking. 

The doctor gave him a sad look as she motioned him to sit on the table. She handed him a mug of hookweed tea and told him to drink. It was bitter but he knew it just might save him in the end. 

He laid back, heart pounding. His stomach felt like it was twisted into knots as the helpers strapped his arms and legs to the table. He winced as they pushed the needles into his arms, but managed to not utter a sound. The doctor rested her hand on his forehead, only for a moment, then ordered the potions to be administered. 

It didn't happen immediately, Eskel watched the first potion as it trickled down the tube. He felt absolute terror, he felt paralyzed. Then the potion reaches his arm. 

He didn’t feel anything at first. It kept trickling in as Eskel watched and waited. 

Then every nerve in his body was set on fire. Eskel thrashed and screamed, wanting to get away but from _what >? His body?_

The pain only got worse and Eskel could only scream and cry out and yank at his bonds. He wanted to beg them to stop, to kill him, to do _anything_ , but he couldn’t speak. All he could do was scream and convulse. 

A horrible smell suddenly reached his nose, and he gagged. The elder witchers told them all that the smell of mutagens is similar to that of a rotten corpse, but Eskel couldn’t think through the pain. All he could do was jerk and retch. 

The smell suddenly got stronger, and he couldn't help it, he vomited. Though nothing but burning bile came out, making his throat burn and tears pour harder down his face. 

All of a sudden the smell was gone, so was the stench of bile, and there was a hand on his forehead holding him down. Another intense wave of pain hit him and he opened his mouth to scream, only to have a tube shoved into it and down his throat. 

Eskel shouted and retched again, and then felt a cool substance trickle down the tube into his throat. It soothed his throat for a moment, but only a moment, fire erupted in his stomach and Eskel’s back arched at the feeling. 

Through all of this his eyes could focus on nothing, all he saw was the blurred bricks and cracks of the ceiling, the occasional hand or face. As the cool liquid stopped dripping down his throat and the pain in his stomach grew fiercer, Eskel’s eyesight left. He knew his eyes were open, and yet all he saw was pitch black. The pain seemed impossibly worse now, and Eskel squeezed his eyes shut and cried out around the tube in his throat. 

Hot liquid now poured down the tube and Eskel tried to scream again, but found he couldn’t hear himself. He couldn’t hear anything. Eskel trembled, terrified at what would come next. 

His stomach was still sore, his veins still felt like they were on fire, he could smell nothing, see nothing, and hear nothing. He wished it would all end, that everything would just end, but the hot potion continued to trickle down his throat. 

Then his lungs were lit on fire. 

The tube was yanked out of his throat and all he could do was take in a deep breath, which immediately felt like the wrong thing to do. The air brought him no comfort, just made his lungs ache and scream. 

Then it stopped. 

Eskel felt nothing. 

He didn’t feel any pain, but he also didn’t feel anything at all. He no longer felt sore, or on fire, and he didn’t feel the table he laid on or his own body. 

Eskel felt all encompassing terror, he felt that he was dying. 

Then he didn’t even feel that, and slipped away. 

~~~

Eskel woke to no pain, but incredible weakness. 

He realized, to his relief, that he could feel again. He felt the mattress beneath him and the soft sheets on top of him. He moved his fingers and wiggled his toes. 

The next thing he realized was he could hear again, and he heard a _lot_.  
He heard crows caw distantly, witchers down the hall speaking about a chort sighting in the valley, and he heard a slow heartbeat and deep breathing beside him. 

He could also smell, and what he did sent his stomach turning. He smelled sweat right beside him, oils and potions nearby, and could vaguely smell a stew. Dear gods, he wished he couldn’t smell at all, his stomach was in knots. He managed to hold back a gag though. 

He heard the heartbeat beside him pick up, and the breath huff out. He felt movement, someone sitting up. 

“Eskel?” Geralt whispered. 

He should open his eyes. He really should. Eskel was terrified that he wouldn’t see anything at all though. 

He opened his eyes. 

He heard a breath of relief, and he saw thin pink lips release it. He saw copper hair that used to be a curly mess, but now was straight as an arrow. Eskel then saw golden cat eyes, showing complete relief. 

“Geralt,” Eskel croaked then immediately fell into a coughing fit. His throat was slightly sore but mostly dry. He was so weak it wasn’t even a proper coughing fit, just little hacks that caused him to jump slightly. 

Geralt quickly grabbed a mug of water and handed it to him, “You better drink it slowly, like Vesemir said.” 

Eskel sipped at the water, Geralt helping him prop up his head. 

Once he was finished Geralt set it down and Eskel asked, “How long have I been out?” 

“Two days, Vesemir kept assuring me you were stable and that this was normal, but Eskel I was so _worried_ -” 

“It’s all right,” Eskel rasped, “I’m gonna be fine.” 

Geralt nodded and squeezed his hand again. They sat there in silence, happy to be together and alive and well. 

Eventually Eskel couldn’t take it anymore, “So who else survived.” 

“Sudrin, Onsiel, Etheti, and Lairi.” Geralt said quietly, “You were the last one to wake up.” 

Eskel nodded, he wanted to cry but found he couldn’t. Only two other kids from their group survived. So many friends, kids he woke up with and went to bed with, gone. 

Geralt reflected the same sadness he felt. 

They both jumped as the door opened, and in walked Vesemir. 

Eskel felt so much joy at seeing his teacher, he wanted to run up and hug them but he knew he’d fall flat on his face if he tried. Instead he smiled softly at the elder witcher. 

Vesemir looked so relieved to see Eskel awake, they quickly looked around the room then shut the door. They walked briskly to his side. 

Eskel expected a hearty handshake, at most a hug, he did not expect Vesemir to lean down and press their forehead to Eskel’s. 

“Thank gods you two are alright.” Vesemir muttered, closing their eyes. 

Eskel felt so incredibly warm, Geralt was at his side and Vesemir _cared_ for him, and he was _safe_. 

Eskel still felt such grief, but he felt _safe_.


	4. Yarrow - Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Are you feeling okay after last night?” Geralt asked quietly, a small adoring smile still on his face.  
>  “Yes, thank you.” Eskel swallowed, mouth feeling dry, “For being there for me, that is.”  
> Geralt nodded, “Of course, you can come to me with anything. Even if it’s embarrassing, or not very witcher-like.”  
> Eskel nodded, “The same goes for you, I’ll always be there for you Geralt.”  
> Geralt smiled, one that lit up his eyes beautifully, and sent butterflies fluttering in Eskel’s stomach.  
> “Always.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guess who found out you can change chapter orders >:3c I'll try to do it as rarely as possible bc I get it's confusing 
> 
> Warning: description of sensory overload, description of anxiety

Eskel curled up tightly and shoved his hands over his ears. _Godsdamn it_. he should be over this by now. He’s not a little kid anymore he just got through the Grasses for gods’ sake. 

That was the problem though, he had gotten through the trials, and had the enhanced sense to show for it. 

Particularly he had enhanced hearing, and as another crack of thunder rolled through the sky, Eskel couldn’t help but wish he didn’t. 

He had always been terrified of storms, but now it was somehow _worse_. The thunder sounded impossibly loud, and it felt like it was about to shake the castle to rubble. The flashes of lightning hurt his eyes even under the covers, temporarily blinding him with it’s light. The rain beating against the window just made him more and more agitated. 

When the next crack of thunder roared Eskel couldn’t help it, he whimpered and curled up tighter. He just wished it would _stop._

“Eskel?” He heard the soft voice of his roommate whisper. 

“Geralt,” Eskel choked out, “it’s okay I’m fine-” Another flash of lightning and Eskel cried out. 

Geralt quickly got up and ran over to Eskel, “What’s wrong? Did you have a nightmare? You hate the having the blanket on you-” 

Geralt started to lift the cover and Eskel cried out, “Please don’t!” 

It was true Eskel hated having a blanket over him now, they felt too scratchy on his sensitive skin, but it was the only covering he had against the flashes of lightning. Also, embarrassingly, Eskel didn’t want Geralt to see the tears running down his face. 

Geralt was silent, then Eskel felt his hand clip under the cover. Eskel grabbed it and felt him squeeze. 

“It’s okay if you had a nightmare, I won’t judge you. You comforted me so many times, it’s only fair I comfort you.” 

“I didn’t have-” Thunder quaked again and Eskel couldn’t help the cry he let out. 

Eskel ripped his hand out of Geralts and went back to covering his ears, he hoped Geralt would just go back to bed and forget about this and never bring it up again. 

Instead Geralt opened the covers wider and slipped underneath them. Eskel’s eyes could clearly see Geralt’s, and Geralt could clearly see his tears. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Geralt asked quietly. 

The tears came faster, now that Eskel had to reveal his secret to his friend, “It’s stupid!” Eskel sobbed, “I’m a witcher and I’m scared of a _storm_!”

“It’s not stupid, it’s okay to be upset.” 

“Are you kidding me? What would the masters say if they saw me like this?”

Ït wouldn’t matter because I’d be too busy setting the library on fire then kicking them in the shins.” Geralt said with a grin. 

Eskel let out a choked laugh, “You’d get your ass whooped so hard you wouldn’t walk straight for months.” 

The storm had died down a little, but not entirely, a roll of thunder sounded causing Eskel to shudder. 

“Hey, come here.” Geralt said softly, scooting closer to him. 

Eskel couldn’t help but relax as Geralt held him in his arms, he buried his face in his friends chest and took a deep breath. Geralt smelled indescribably like _home_ and it soothed Eskel almost immediately. 

“Do you wanna get the sheets off?” Geralt asked quietly. 

Eskel nodded his head and closed his eyes tightly as the sheets were tugged off. He wrapped an arm around Geralt and tangled his legs with his. Eskel relaxed as the skin crawling sensation went away, he felt less and less anxious.

It still thundered occasionally which caused Eskel to tense up, but each time Geralt whispered soothing words, until the storm passed entirely. 

Feeling completely safe Eskel dozed off. 

~~~

The boys had been well trained to either wake up before the sun rose, or as it did. Eskel tended to wake up before it did, Geralt a little later. 

Eskel was still wrapped tightly in Geralt’s embrace, and he felt no motivation to move. Eskel decided to use the time to study his friend's face. 

Geralt’s hair was messy as it always was in the mornings, but it was a lot better since it lost it’s curl. Geralt says it’s a lot easier to clean and comb through now. The strands lightly fell over his forehead and across his eyes, but Eskel still saw his long lashes resting lightly against his skin. From there he looked at the light scar on his cheek, a light cut Sudrin had given him. It had healed quickly, far quicker than before they had gone through the trial, and was barely visible. 

Eskel then looked at his lips, pale pink and slightly parted. Geralt let out small huffs, which expelled some terrible morning breath. Eskel didn’t know why but his stomach twisted in knots as he stared at his friends lips, though he hoped it was the morning breath making him sick. Gods he was gonna make Geralt wash out his mouth. 

The trials had aged both boys by quite a bit, they had soon grown quite tall and even more muscular. Geralt especially, he now had deep lines on his face and a pale complexion. He knew some of the younger boys teased him about it, saying that for someone who woke up too soon he looked too rough, but Eskel found him quite handsome. 

“What’re you looking at.” Geralt mumbled. 

“An ass.”

Geralt grinned, and slowly opened his eyes, and Eskel saw something mischievous lurking in them. 

“Geralt do not-” Eskel started, but it was too late. 

Geralt shot forward hands finding Eskel’s sides, Eskel jerked and let out a laugh as Geralt started to mercilessly tickle him. Eskel tried to kick the boy off but to no avail, all he could do was jerk and cry out. 

“Geralt you ass- gods no- will you stop! Gods! Geralt!” Eskel tried to aim a kick at his friend's side but Geralt just caught his leg and proceeded to tickle the bottom of his foot, “Gods no! We have- fuck you! We have to get ready! For training! Godsdamn it!” 

Geralt finally relented and stared down at him with a grin, Eskel wheezed but grinned back. 

“Are you feeling okay after last night?” Geralt asked quietly, a small adoring smile still on his face. 

“Yes, thank you.” Eskel swallowed, mouth feeling dry, “For being there for me, that is.”

Geralt nodded, “Of course, you can come to me with anything. Even if it’s embarrassing, or not very witcher-like.” 

Eskel nodded in return, “The same goes for you, I’ll always be there for you Geralt.”

Geralt smiled, one that lit up his eyes beautifully, and sent butterflies fluttering in Eskel’s stomach. 

“Always.”


	5. Yarrow - First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Eskel let out a small yelp as he hit the wall but soon got with the program, wrapping his arms around Geralt and kissing him back just as fiercely.  
>  Suddenly they heard a wolf whistle across the courtyard, the two jumped apart in shock.  
> “Come on let’s get out of here,” Geralt said grabbing Eskel’s hand.  
> Eskel quickly grabbed the basket holding the supplies and then Geralt was tugging him out the front gate and into the evening._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the other chapters I didn't really specify what age they were but I'm gonna be clear hear: I imagine they finish their last trial between ages 18-20, meaning they are adults in this chapter
> 
> Warnings: smut bbbaaabbbyy!

Eskel waited excitedly by the main gate. Samah walked by and gave him a knowing smirk but said nothing. She knew most young witcher’s who passed the last trial engaged in an unspoken tradition. Eskel nodded to the elder witcher and resumed tapping his foot. He opened the basket at his side and looked over the small stash of supplies one more time. A blanket, a bottle of oil, a cloth, a waterskin, and wrapped in a nice cloth the gift he received. 

He blushed lightly as he looked at it, anticipation swirling in his gut. He silently thanked Cirrive again for it, even though they delivered it with a laugh and a wink. 

Eskel noticed a flash of white in the corner of his eye and turned to see Geralt heading toward him. Eskel couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face as he took in the sight of his best friend. Geralt's hair was still damp and slowly going out of control, his plain shirt was also damp and clung to him as if he threw it on as soon as he got out of the bath. 

“Sorry I’m late,” he said breathlessly, “Vesemir ran into me and decided to congratulate me again.” 

“Don’t act as if you don’t love the praise,” Eskel said with a smirk. 

The entire school congratulated Geralt when he returned with his medallion, it was appropriate considering for a while there was no telling if he would make it through his extra trials. 

“I do, but I think I have better places to be,” Geralt said with a grin, and with that shoved Eskel up against the wall and kissed him hard. 

Eskel let out a small yelp as he hit the wall but soon got with the program, wrapping his arms around Geralt and kissing him back just as fiercely. 

Suddenly they heard a wolf whistle across the courtyard, the two jumped apart in shock. 

“Come on let’s get out of here,” Geralt said grabbing Eskel’s hand. 

Eskel quickly grabbed the basket holding the supplies and then Geralt was tugging him out the front gate and into the evening. 

~~~

The sunset over the valley was gorgeous, and this hill was the perfect place to watch it. Only for a little while though. Soon Geralt got impatient and shoved Eskel down and roughly kissed him. Eskel grinned when Geralt bit at his lips and soon moved down to his neck, by the feel of it he was going to leave a large mark impossible to hide. 

Finally Eskel decided to slow things down and flipped Geralt over, leaning above him Eskel pressed his forehead to Geralt’s making him freeze.

“I wanna take my time Wolf,” Eskel said with a small smile. Geralt looked at him with wide eyes and a faint blush across his face. 

“Fine then,” Geralt said softly, “If that’s what you want,” He replied. Eskel’s smile turned to a grin and he leaned down further. 

“I want you,” He said lightly brushing Geralt’s lips, and Geralt took a sharp breath, “More than anything.” 

He gently kissed Geralt, his hands now roaming his body. They knew each other well, they’ve been fumbling around in dark corners and their shared room for some time now. This night, though, it is about coming together completely. It’s about savoring each other. 

Eskel lifted Geralt’s shirt slowly, he wore a tight garment underneath, similar to Eskel’s. Geralt always wore his more, he typically felt more comfortable that way. He knew as soon as Geralt visited Oxenfurt he’d seek out a surgeon, while Eskel really didn’t put much thought to his chest. 

“Do you want to take it off or leave it on,” Eskel asked softly, Geralt knew he would be fine with either. 

“You can take it off,” Geralt replied. 

Eskel nodded and carefully pulled it up, leaning down to press a kiss to Geralt’s chest. 

Geralt chuckled, “Sap.”

Eskel glanced up amused, and without breaking eye contact leaned over and flicked Geralt’s nipple with his tongue. Geralt gasped in response and wove his hands into Eskel’s hair. Eskel proceeded to lick and suck at Geralt’s chest, moving from one nipple to the other, Geralt could only gasp and yank at Eskel’s hair. Each time he did sent heat racing down Eskel’s spine. 

Eskel then sat up and focused on untying Geralt’s pants, he then started to slowly slide them down, and grinned as he realized Geralt hadn’t been wearing smallclothes. He quickly pulled his pants off and reached to squeeze Geralt’s gorgeous thighs. Eskel had other plans but he loves those thighs on either side of his head. He looked Geralt over, in awe of him. 

"So beautiful Wolf," he rumbles, "so perfect.” 

He sees Geralt glance away, face red. Eskel knows praise always makes him feel warm.

Eskel’s gaze then focused on Geralt’s hard cock, though before he could do anything Geralt cleared his throat. 

“Forgetting something?” he asked, eyes roving down Eskel’s body. 

Eskel chuckled and lifted his shirt over his head, he rarely wore his under garment and had decided not to today. He then quickly unlaced his pants and tugged them down with his smalls. Geralt’s hands wandered and Eskel indulged him, letting him feel his chest and hips. When Geralt reached his belly he leaned forward and kissed it, then rubbed his cheek against it. 

Eskel snorted, “I’ll never understand your fascination with my stomach.” 

“It’s nice, soft even with the muscle underneath it,” Geralt replied, pressing another kiss to his belly, “Don’t tell me you don’t love the attention.”

He did, but he didn’t need to say that. 

Eskel gently pushed Geralt back and kissed him gently, then reached over for the vial of oil stored in the basket. Geralt’s eyes shone with anticipation as Eskel poured oil over his fingers and reached between Geralt’s legs. 

First Eskel circled his cock, causing Geralt to whimper, then he reached down to Geralt’s cunt. Geralt was already fairly wet and relaxed, it was easy to slip a finger in. Soon after another followed, and even sooner Geralt was crying out and begging for more. 

“Eskel,” Geralt moaned, “Please!” 

“Please what?” Eskel said with a grin, then crooked his fingers. 

Geralt gasped and arched his back, “More please! I need more!” 

Eskel quickly obliged him and added another finger, fucking Geralt thoroughly now. Geralt writhed and moaned while Eskel spread him wide. He gasped as Eskel crooked his fingers again and again, thoroughly fucking Geralt’s wet cunt. 

“E-Eskel, I’m so close-” Geralt gasped, legs kicking out and toes curling.

With that Eskl ground his palm onto Geralt’s cock and crooked his fingers inside him. Geralt yelled, gripping the blanket beneath them tightly, and came. 

Eskel loved how Geralt looked when he cums. The way his eyes widen and his mouth drops open, he tenses up then completely relaxes. Eskel could look at him all day normally, but like this it was truly special. Eskel thinks Geralt is utterly beautiful, not that he’d ever tell him that. 

While Geralt laid there breathing heavily, Eskel gently pulled his fingers out and brought them up to his face. He sucked them into his mouth moaning slightly, he loved the taste of Geralt. 

Eskel then slipped his fingers between his own thighs, stretching himself quickly. Eskel bit his lip as he slipped a third finger in, the stretch burning slightly. It quickly melted and he felt nothing but pleasure. Once he was done he reached into the basket once more. 

He brought out the gift wrapped in cloth, Geralt’s eyes tracked the movement, looking at it curiously. Eskel unwrapped it slowly, and Geralt’s eyes lit up with delight and anticipation. 

Resting on the cloth was a polished wooden cock, with a smooth piece on the other end that would slip into Eskel perfectly. 

Eskel quickly slid the piece into his cunt, then grabbed the oil and slicked up the cock. He had practiced a few times before this, he wanted everything to be perfect. 

He runs the head against Geralt's cunt, and geralt moaned loudly, begging Eskel for more, 

“Please Eskel, gods please, I need you so bad, gods Eskel.”

Eskel pushed in slowly, Geralt cried out and Eskel kissed him quickly, Eskels tongue sweeped into his mouth, distracting Geralt. Eskel paused as he bottomed out and Geralt just laid there panting.

Eskel started thrusting very slowly and it drew out a whine from Geralt. Soon Geralt was wrapping his legs around Eskel and urging him to move faster. Eskel thrusts harder and harder, the polished wooden piece inside him driving him mad with pleasure. Geralt moaned Eskel's name over and over, Eskel leaned down to Geralt's ear and rumbled.

"Gods Geralt, you look so good. Love seeing you get pounded by my cock. You’re so good Geralt, so good for me." 

"I-I'm gonna cum," Geralt whimpered. 

"I'm close too Wolf," Eskel rumbled, "I want you to cum for me." 

A few more sharp thrusts and Geralt came with a cry, Eskel following soon after with a low moan. 

They sat there for a few minutes, breathing heavily. Finally Eskel slowly pulled out, dragging out one last whimper from Geralt. Eskel slid the cock out from between his thighs with a soft sigh, then grabbed a cloth and waterskin. He quickly cleaned Geralt up, secretly loving how relaxed and fucked out he was. 

“Geralt,” he whispered, picking him up and settling him in his arms, “was that good for you?”

“So good,” Geralt replied softly, “and you?”

“Perfect,” he whispered, “rest, I'll keep watch.”

It'd be a shame if something or someone snuck up on them while Geralt looked so peaceful. Eskel planned to let him rest for a while and then they would head back to the keep and crawl into bed together. 

Eskel tucked Geralt’s head under his chin, listened to his heartbeat, and tried not to think about how they would set out on the path soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another clarification: I'll still be updating this fic, just from here on out the timeline is gonna get funky  
> Also this fic is meant to be a collection of stories, so it can technically stop at any point. Really it depends on my motivation, but I don't plan to leave it on a cliff hanger or anything.  
> Hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leaves kudos and a comment!


	6. Magnolia - Lambert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Eskel and Geralt kept glancing over at Lambert eagerly, which caused Vesemir to glare at them in return.  
>  Then it happened, Lambert went to do a complicated move, and the seat of his pants ripped wide open.   
> The brat turned beat red as the other two boys collapsed with laughter, most of the young kids were giggling themselves.   
> Lambert scowled at them while covering his ass, which just caused Geralt to laugh harder. Eskel, he noticed, had stopped laughing. Geralt soon found that it was because Vesemir’s rage was about to come upon them._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time for baby lambert! 
> 
> Warnings: minor punishment, vague mentions of more severe punishment, mentions of spanking

Geralt collapsed onto his bed exhausted, he had started getting the hang of signs finally, but it had taken a lot out of him. 

“This is it Eskel,” He muttered, “I can’t go on.” 

Eskel snorted from his side of the room, “Quit whining it wasn’t that bad.” 

“Easy for you to say!” Geralt said looking up, “You got igni on the first try!” 

Eskel looked down with a small smile, Geralt knew he was proud of himself. 

Geralt couldn’t help but smile at his friend, it seemed he was fully recovered from the trials. Their enhanced senses took a lot of getting used to, for Eskel especially, but they had adjusted and thrown themselves into training. 

“What’re you looking at Wolf?” 

Geralt smiled at the name, all the witchers had taken to calling him that after his trials. 

“An ass.” 

Eskel barked out a laugh, “I’ll show you an ass!” 

Eskel pounced on Geralt and tried to get him in a headlock. Geralt proceeded to elbow Eskel 

Geralt was just about to pin Eskel down when a sharp knock rattled the door. 

The boys quickly stood up as the door opened and in walked Cirrive. 

Cirrive crooked an eyebrow at the sight of the ruffled boys, “Am I interrupting anything?” 

“Nope!” Geralt said quickly, “So what do you want?” 

Cirrive shot Geralt a grin and leaned against the doorway, “So you know how you offered to help me with the little shits across from your room?” 

Geralt frowned, Eskel was the one who volunteered, and then dragged Geralt into it. 

“Yeah? What about it? Having troubles oh wise one?” Eskel teased. 

Cirrive scowled, “Don’s ‘wise one’ me, but yes I am having a problem. Remember that kid with a constant scowl on his face who bit Harci?” 

Geralt nodded with a chuckle, that was the best entrance of new kids he’s ever seen. 

“Yeah well he’s been here awhile and, well, I’m having problems with him.” Cirrive said with a frown, “the kid has a temper like no other, and it makes training difficult. He doesn’t take critique well and some of the other kids are teasing him.”

Geralt snorted, “That’s what he gets for yelling at everyone.”

Cirrive raised an eyebrow, “If I distinctly remember you yelled at quite a few people for implying you were abandoned, and apparently your memory is shit because that was only seven years ago.”

Geralt glared at Cirrive, unfortunately they were correct. 

“Listen, I get it, he’s a brat, but he’s going to through the Grasses soon. If he doesn’t get better at training he’ll probably die. He’s only two years younger than you, surely you can get along?” 

“He can’t even get along with kids his own age.” Geralt grumbled, but already knew he was going to say yes. 

“We’ll tutor him after basic training.” Eskel said. 

Geralt hoped he wouldn’t regret this. 

~~~

He regretted it, _immensely_

“Lambert this exercise is about _agility_ and _flexibility_ , which I’m seeing none of. You’re barely able to grab the correct stones, and are you even trying to pull yourself up? _Speed up_! Quit being scared of falling.”

Geralt heard Eskel snicker from where he was resting, but chose to ignore him. 

“Not all of us are as strong as you, _Geralt_.” Lambert snapped. 

“That’s why you need to do this _brat_ , so you can finally gain some strength.” Geralt spat, “And what are you laughing at?” 

He turned to Eskel whose snickers had turned to chuckles.   
“You sound like a grumpy old man, how about you take a break Wolf?” Eskel stood and walked over to Geralt’s spot, “I’ll give the poor boy some actual direction.”

Geralt huffed but proceeded to sit down and take sips from Eskel’s waterskin. He watched as Eskel directed Lambert on the best stones to grab, pointed out why the stones were good to grab, and how to get up the wall as fast as possible. 

Eskel really was good at teaching, Geralt mused, he wondered if he’d stay at the keep for a bit after he got his medallion. 

Lambert eventually got the top, and thought it was a smart idea to stand up on the top and hollar. 

The small problem was that the climbing wall is not attached to anything else, certainly not the keeps walls that you can walk along until you get to the stairs. The only way down is the way you came up. The kid of course came to this realization by looking down. 

Geralt did feel a small pinch of pity at the horror that appeared on the kids face. He immediately stopped standing and laid down and clung to the top of the wall. Eskel was gonna have a hard time getting him down. 

“Alright your turn.” Eskel said, plopping down beside Geralt. 

“Wait what?” Geralt looked at Eskel incredulously, he didn’t expect him to actually coach this kid down? Right?

“You assholes better not leave me up here!” Lambert shouted. 

Geralt glanced around and saw Vesemir glaring at them, but was too busy with their students to come over. Thank the gods for small miracles, but if they don’t get the brat down soon Vesemir will be pissed. 

“Alright fine!” Geralt said getting up. 

He walked over to the wall and stared up at Lambert for a moment.

“Is there any chance you’ll climb down yourself?”

Lambert glanced down at him then squeezed his eyes shut, “Nope!”

“Oh come on! It’s not that high up!”

“No way in hell!”

Geralt swore under his breath, there was no way he was waiting for this brat to climb down. 

So Geralt did the only thing he could think of, he quickly climbed up the wall and grabbed Lambert by the back of his shirt. 

“Alright since you won’t climb down we’re trying another exercise, proper jumping.”

“No! No no no!” Lambert yelled, struggling in Geralt’s grasp. Geralt though had enhanced strength, and it was easy to tug the boy over the edge.

“So the key to jumping from this height as a beginner is to roll-” the idiot elbowed him in the chest, which did cause him to let Lambert go, just not back on to the top of the wall. 

Luckily he landed on a pile of old sacks set beneath the wall, because he definitely did not roll. 

Lambert laid face down, and for one moment Geralt was scared he killed him, but he listened intently and heard the boy’s rapid heartbeat.

Geralt jumped down easily and landed much better, he saw Eskel to the side rolling with laughter, and then he noticed Vesemir storming over. 

The look on their face made Geralt realize this did not bode well for him. 

“So what in the hell did you think you were doing? Did you honestly think a terrified boy would land on his feet? And you!” They said pointing to Eskel, who had stopped laughing immediately and sat up straight, “You knew better than to let that happen! Don’t think you’re off the hook!”

Lambert was still laying on the old burlap sacks, and Vesemir kicked him gently in the side, “Listen I know that wasn’t a pleasant experience kid but you can’t get scared of a wall! You’re a witcher now-” 

“I don’t want to be a witcher!” Lambert shot up and yelled, “This is stupid! I don’t want to train!” 

Vesemir glanced around, and then leveled a glare at Lambert. Geralt started to pity the kid again. He had yelled at them a few times, and he quickly learned _never_ to yell when other witchers were around. Vesemir would typically try to calm you down and resort to punishment later if you were alone, but with other witchers around they had to punish you. 

“Climb that wall again.” Vesemir gritted out, “and climb down it _properly_. You’re gonna be climbing that wall till I deem it correct, understood?” 

Lambert looked terrified, but the little shit actually _opened his mouth to retort_

“ _understood_?” Vesemir said, and Lambert snapped his mouth shut. 

“And you two! You’re gonna be cleaning out the stables for the rest of the day! Now go!” 

Eskel and Geralt scrambled off, and while Geralt hated cleaning the stables, he was certainly glad to be taken off babysitting duty. 

~~~

Geralt and Eskel went back to their room exhausted and smelling like shit. They had agreed to skip dinner to go take a rest in their room. Which meant the halls were completely empty. 

Though when they got to the door of their room, they heard voices coming from right across the hall, in the young students’ room. 

Eskel and Geralt glanced at each other and listened closely. 

“Listen boy, you can do a lot of things in this keep. You can be as angry as you want, you can hack a dummy to bits, punch a wall, whatever, but you _do not_ yell at an elder witcher like that. 

I’m nice about it, I’ll always be nice about it, but-”

“What was nice about making me climb the wall?” Lambert snapped while stamping his foot.

“Compare it to getting your ass whipped son and you’ll find it very nice.” Vesemir retorted. 

Lambert huffed and said nothing more. 

They sighed, “Listen Myself, Anama, Valirt, Samah, hell even masters Vithald and Sele, will all be understanding of your anger. But there’s an order here, and disrespecting those older than you upsets it. Have a meltdown if you need to but try to keep it out of sight, or with people you trust.”

“I don’t trust anyone here!” Lambert said indignantly. 

Vesemir sighed again, even louder, “You’ll learn to. Now, before I go. Eskel and Geralt will continue to help train yo-”

“What? Why? Geralt threw me off a wall!” Lambert shouted. 

“Why do I always deal with the interrupting kids?” they muttered, then louder, “And that was wrong of them to do. In fact, they’re going to apologize for it _right now_.”

Geralt winced and looked to Eskel, who shared his pained features, of course Vesemir knew they were listening in. 

Eskel moved forward and opened the door, ducking into the room. Geralt sighed but followed forward. 

“Listen, we’re sorry Lambert, it was mean to throw you off the wall. We’ll be more understanding next time.” Eskel said softly, “Right Geralt?”

Geralt huffed, “Right.”

Lambert scowled, “Is that all you have to say?”

“What do you mean? I said I’d be more understanding.”

“You threw me off a wall! And you’re not even apologizing!”

Vesemir was rubbing the bridge of their nose, and Eskel was glaring at Geralt. Three against one then. 

Geralt sighed, “Fine. I’m sorry Lambert, I shouldn’t have thrown you off the wall, especially since you were so scared.”

Somehow, someway, Lambert scowled even deeper. 

Vesemir, probably able to sense a screaming match coming on, intervened.

“Alright you’re all dismissed!” 

~~~

“God that kid’s uptight.” Eskel remarked later. 

Geralt snorted, “How’d he get a stick shoved up his ass so young.”

Eskel grinned, “You know what would help dislodge that stick, dear Geralt?” 

Geralt grinned, he knew exactly what Eskel was thinking. He was wrong though, it would only wind him tighter. 

~~~

They decided to start with their easiest prank: fish guts. Most witchers fished often and left it to the younger ones to gut the fish. It was easy to grab the stinking bucket and cover it, and if you knew the master witcher's usual rounds, you could easily get it up to someone’s room. 

The question was where to put it? Under the bed? In his drawers? 

When they were done they snuck out and went to their next chore. Training the brat. 

They didn’t let up even once, allowing him only the smallest of breaks. When they were done he was exhausted, he almost fell asleep during dinner. 

They marched up to their rooms and got ready for bed. They knew the exact moment Lambert laid his head on his pillow, because they heard his shrill scream. So did the rest of the keep. 

Unfortunately so did Vesemir, who knew how to recognize one of their pranks instantly. 

It was worth it. 

~~~

Next they decided to be a little more daring. 

They snuck into the kids room in the dead of night, Lambert sound asleep. They quickly found the drawer where he kept his clothes, and found what they needed. 

They quietly snuck back, and went to bed giggling that night. 

In the morning they practiced nearby the other kids, which made Vesemir happy for once because they could use them as an example. 

Eskel and Geralt kept glancing over at Lambert eagerly, which caused Vesemir to glare at them in return. 

Then it happened, Lambert went to do a complicated move, and the seat of his pants ripped wide open. 

The brat turned beat red as the other two boys collapsed with laughter, most of the young kids were giggling themselves. 

Lambert scowled at them while covering his ass, which just caused Geralt to laugh harder. Eskel, he noticed, had stopped laughing. Geralt soon found that it was because Vesemir’s rage was about to come upon them. 

~~~~

The last prank, at least the last prank for a while, was risky. 

Eskel told Geralt he wouldn’t do it, he said to give it a rest. Vesemir’s punishments _might_ have influenced his decision. 

Lambert had spit in his face during their last training session together though, and Geralt was out for _justice_. 

So he crept into Lambert's room in the dead of night yet again, this time he left as quickly and quietly as he came in. 

The next morning Lambert looked _pissed_. He glared at Geralt and Eskel all through breakfast, and Geralt could only grin back. Eskel looked worriedly between the two of them, but said nothing. 

As they all walked out to training Eskel glanced at Geralt as he noticed Lambert constantly adjusting his pants, Geralt just shrugged his shoulders. 

As they walked outside a few kids looked up, and immediately burst out laughing. 

There hanging from the banner pole was an impressive line of underwear, and any witcher with enhanced eyesight could clearly see ‘Lambert’ embroidered on them.

Lambert turned to Geralt, murderous rage in his eyes, and before he could say anything Lambert punched him in the dick. 

~~~

He woke up to the sound of sniffling outside their door, and the scent of fear. 

Geralt sighed, wondering if he could ignore the kid and he would go away. The stench was strong though, and Geralt started to feel bad. He was terrified when he was brought to the keep, and the nightmares still tortured him sometimes. He didn’t know why Lambert was brought to the keep but he could assume it wasn’t a pleasant reason. 

Geralt got up quietly, glancing at Eskel. Of course the bastard was asleep, leaving him to deal with the brat. 

He opened a door to a shaking, sniffling Lambert, his eyes red rimmed and wide. 

“What do you want Lambert?” Geralt asked softly. 

“I want Eskel, not you!” Lambert snapped.

“Well Eskel’s asleep, so all you got is me.” 

“But you’re an asshole!” 

Geralt noticed tears forming in his eyes. _shit_.

“All you do is yell and insult me! At least Eskel’s nice sometimes!”

Geralt noticed the smell of his fear spiking, and felt a twinge of guilt. 

“Alright, alright” Geralt said raising his hands in defeat, “I was an asshole and that was unfair of me. I’m sorry, I mean it. Do you want to tell me what’s wrong, or do you want to walk back to your room together?” 

Lambert furiously rubbed the tears out of his eyes, “This was dumb.” 

“Hey, no it’s not. Eskel and I comfort each other after nightmares all the time, that’s what happened didn’t it?” Geralt said gently.

Lambert nodded looking ashamed, Geralt sighed.

“Come on in, you can stay with us tonight.”

Geralt turned to see Eskel’s eyes open and a small smile on his face. 

“You did well Geralt, now both of you come over here.”

Lambert sniffled and threw himself into Eskel’s arms, and looked back at Geralt. At first he thought the kid was going to tell him to fuck off, but instead he reached out and gestured for him to come to bed. 

Geralt smiled and got into bed behind Lambert, maybe the brat wasn’t so bad after all. 

Geralt grabbed Lambert’s hand and squeezed, while Eskel wrapped his arms around the kid and rubbed his back. Soon the smell of fear went away, and Lambert was snoring softly. 

~~~

In the morning the kid was gone. Somehow he had snuck out from between two sensitive witchers, so that extra training must be paying off. 

Geralt got up and stretched, then made his way to his chest. Except something was missing. 

He rushed to Eskel’s chest to see if it was missing the same thing. Geralt swore.

“What is it?” Eskel mumbled sleepily. 

“That fucking _brat_.” 

Their underwear was missing. Geralt had a good idea where to look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm purposely being vague about their ages (except with explicit themes) but in case it's confusing here's what I'm aiming for:  
> Witchers are _normally_ brought to the keep around the ages 5/6, then submitted to the first trial/the choice about a year after, then goes through the trial of the grasses about 10/11, then does the final trial/the trial of the medallion about 18/20, then they set out on the path soon after  
> Geralt & Eskel were brought in about the normal time, Lambert was brought in later at about 10, so he's quickly being trained (I imagined it's believed if you're physically stronger you're more likely to survive, but everyone knows it's random) and is going through the choice, and will soon be submitted to the Grasses.   
> Thank you for reading!


	7. Iris - Infliction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Anama had talked to them briefly, the second set of trials weren’t as risky as the first. She predicted Geralt would most likely pull through. She was very worried about the third set though. She said they were too risky, and she had advised against it, but the mages had pushed for it. The masters would do anything the mages tell them to, consequences be damned._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Vesemir's point of view! 
> 
> Warning: description of child abuse, vague descriptions of medical abuse, vague descriptions of child death

Vesemir's heart was in their throat. 

They couldn't believe the masters were trying this again. After last time. After burning every corpse of an entire _class_. They had heard the stories, the symptoms being even worse than usual, of kids throwing up their own guts, screaming until blood came out of every orifice. It was _horrific_. 

But. Things were unwell. Vesemir understood that. Less wanderers were coming back, a scouting troop had disappeared, one of the elders recently died of necrophage poisoning. The hierarchy was weakened and that would not be tolerated. It was a miracle that a few of the mages had come to visit to suggest new trials. 

That was what they had to believe, that it was a miracle.

But why _him_. Maybe the gods were real because this felt like a punishment like no other. Of course they would be punished for caring for the boy. For naming him. For calling him son with a gentle voice. For wondering at night what it would be like to be called a parent. 

And now they had to walk up to Geralt and tell him he was about to go through something horrific. 

~~~

Geralt was reading in the library, the boy loved to read about the different monsters. Used to run up to them asking question after question. At the time they found it annoying, but now they missed it with a deep ache. 

Geralt looked up and smiled at Vesemir, which quickly turned to a frown. Vesemir hadn’t bothered to hone in their grim look.

"Geralt, we need to talk about something." Vesemir said roughly. 

Geralt nodded slowly and didn't break eye contact as Vesemir sat across from him. 

As Vesemir explained what the masters had decided, Geralt's eyes widened, his pupils huge. Vesemir clenched their hands into fists as they began to shake. Geralt's lip trembled though he tried desperately to stop it. The boy looked close to crying and Vesemir could do nothing. There was no comfort to be offered. 

"You understand right? It's for the good of the school." The words tasted sour on their tongue, though they tried desperately to believe them. 

Geralt shook his head slowly, "Please." He whispered. 

Vesemir looked down. They felt nauseous. There was nothing they could do. 

"I'm sorry." They whispered. 

~~~

Vesemir did not see him off. They did not say goodbye. They didn't even go near the path to the laboratory, they did not dare to catch a glimpse of Geralt. 

They went to the training yard, for the most part empty. Training had been called off today, too many of the teachers were called to help. At least the masters had granted Vesemir one mercy and let them stay far away. 

They soon heard pained grunts and the sound of a sword hitting wood. 

They turned the corner to see Eskel. 

So the universe wasn't granting any mercy today. 

Eskel looked ragged, his skin was pale and he had deep bags under his eyes. His hands shook as he sliced at the dummy. The hay and burlap had long been sliced into ribbons and now he only hit wood. 

Vesemir wanted to tug the sword out of his hands, wanted to pull him close. They wanted to hold the boy and press their forehead to his. They wanted to comfort Eskel. 

Though where did that get Geralt? 

"Wildly hacking at a monster will do nothing to protect you." Vesemir said gruffly. 

Eskel jumped and stopped hacking, looking at them with wide eyes. 

Vesemir picked up a sword and nodded at Eskel. 

"First position. We'll go through the basic exercises." 

Eskel nodded, eyes narrowing. He widened his stance, gripped his sword, and took a deep breath. 

Vesemir mirrored him.This is what he needed. A distraction. 

Eskel had grown to be a talented swordsman. Even for his age he was able to keep up with Vesemir for a while, and even managed to parry and counter attack. They were only going a little bit easy on him too. 

Neither of them were wearing armor, and when Eskel managed to nick Vesemir's shoulder he stopped and stared at him in horror. They weren't upset, honestly they relished the pain, it felt like taking a deep breath for the first time. 

Vesemir smiled at the boy, "You've improved greatly since you first picked up a sword." 

Eskel gave a nervous smile back, but couldn't look away from the blood staining his shirt. 

"If you're put off by a little blood you'll never make it on the path." They said gruffly. 

Eskel startled and shook himself, and went back to the first position. He put a determined look on his face, and they relaxed. Alright then. 

They went at it again, and again, and again. Going through the motions. Slashing, parrying, counter attacking. They practiced signs, one after the other. By the time evening came they were sweating and exhausted. 

Vesemir clapped Eskel on the shoulder, "You're damn good son. I'm proud of you." 

They brightened as Eskel smiled at them, a real smile. Small and hesitant, but a real smile.

"Thank you." The boy said quietly. 

Vesemir nodded, "We should clean up then get to dinner." 

They cleaned up in silence. When they were done they paused and looked at each other. It was obvious neither of them wanted to go back to the keep. Vesemir knew Eskel didn't want to go back to an empty room. They would have to make him though. The path is a solitary lifestyle, even if Geralt...survives...Eskel will have to get used to the loneliness. 

That didn't mean Vesemir liked it though. They paused for a moment, unsure how to offer any comfort. When the boy decided to take it for himself. 

He threw himself into Vesemir's arms, and they held him tightly. Eskel didn't cry, didn't say anything. Just held Vesemir tightly. 

Then he let go. 

~~~   
Geralt and two other boys had survived the first rounds. They would continue to administer more trials tomorrow. 

As soon as Eskel heard Geralt’s name he ran straight for the recovery room. They imagined that boy planned to stay there till they took him to the next trials. Hell, Eskel might get into the laboratory itself, just to stay by Geralt’s side. 

Vesemir thought about going. They’d regret it if they didn’t. Though to see Geralt like that…

They saw movement out of the corner of their eye. They turned and there was Lambert, scowling as always. Though they could see the fear in his eyes and the way his hands shook as he crossed them. 

“You going to visit Geralt?” They asked with a raised brow. 

“Why should I?” Lambert replied roughly. 

“I heard you two have gotten closer lately, that maybe you even trust him?” In truth they had saw Lambert trust him more. They had smelled his fear and were on their way to comfort the poor boy, knowing full well none of his roommates would, and stumbled upon Lambert standing outside Geralt and Eskel’s door. 

They were warmed by the way Geralt took Lambert in. They had the sneaking suspicion Lambert was too. 

Lambert rolled his eyes in response and walked after Eskel, Vesemir followed.

~~~

They found Eskel stroking Geralt’s copper hair. 

The poor boy looks an inch away from death. Deep shadows surrounded his eyes, his skin was pale, and his veins were severely discolored. He looked gaunt, despite looking perfectly healthy a week ago. When Vesemir told him. 

Eskel put on a brave face, but his eyes said it all. He was in anguish. 

Vesemir looked down at Lambert, and winced at the horrified look on his face. 

The last time they did the trials was Geralt and Eskel’s group, Lambert had never seen the effects of them. 

Vesemir nudged the boy forward, expecting him to rush to Geralt’s side, but the boy rarely did what was expected. 

Lambert’s face paled and he shook his head, and ran. 

Vesemir sighed, that boy wasn’t going to take his own trials well. 

That was a problem for another night, Vesemir walked to the other side of Geralt. They knew the boy probably wouldn’t wake before the next trial, if he survived the night that is. 

They gripped Geralt’s hand, knowing they should walk out the door. Knowing that they shouldn’t be attached to this kid. It has happened before, they shouldn’t have let it happen again. 

They didn’t leave though, they couldn’t. They held Geralt’s hand, and hoped. 

~~~

Lambert looked exhausted at breakfast, though so did everyone really. 

Eskel and them left early in the morning, just before dawn broke. Geralt had not woken once, but muttered and whimpered in his sleep. Then the doctor’s and helpers had barged in, Anama herself telling them gently to get out. 

They had told Eskel to get some sleep, they would tell the others he would be starting his chores late. Eskel nodded his head, and they knew he wouldn’t be going back to his bed. They hoped he would at least rest somewhere. 

When Lambert’s head nearly fell in his bowl of porridge Vesemir had enough. 

They walked up quickly, “Library, ten minutes.” and continued on. It was always best to not let Lambert reply. 

~~~

“I think we should go over ekimmaras and katakans today, they have key differences, but if you don’t memorize them they’re easy to mix up.”

Lambert only huffed as Vesemir pulled multiple books off the shelves. 

“Oh! John of Brugge! A knowledgeable author, really you should study the entire book, but will study the chapter on katakans today.”

Lambert read through it, Vesemir pointing out important facts, telling him to take notes. The boy nearly fell asleep a few times, until they started talking about their own hunting stories. Every kid in the keep loves hearing tales from the wanderers, and Lambert is no exception. 

“This katakan happened to be exceptionally old, you could see the gleam of wisdom in their eyes. So naturally I had to outsmart them, lay a trap-”

“So what did you do?” 

“Well the katakan was targeting young women who were prosti- in a certain profession. So I simply decided to dress as one, unfortunately I had to shave off my mustach-”

“Aren’t you a man?” Lambert asked all of a sudden. He didn’t look angry for once, just confused. 

“Have you seen anyone refer to me as a man?” 

“No, they call you old witcher. So you’re not a man or a woman?” 

“Yes, I find no time for considerations over things such as presenta-”

“So how did you trick the katakan into thinking you were a prostitute? You’re too ugly!” 

Vesemir sighed. 

~~~

While the studying provided a nice distraction for them both, Vesemir couldn’t help that their thoughts went back to Geralt. 

Anama had talked to them briefly, the second set of trials weren’t as risky as the first. She predicted Geralt would most likely pull through. She was very worried about the third set though. She said they were too risky, and she had advised against it, but the mages had pushed for it. The masters would do anything the mages tell them to, consequences be damned. 

The poor woman looked exhausted. She believed in the cause as much as Vesemir did, but they knew her work was wearing down on her. 

Vesemir noticed their mood had soured and their expression had become somber, and Lambert of course mirrored them. 

Eventually Lambert slammed the book down and snapped.

“What’s the point?”   
“Of what?” Vesemir asked, glad that no one else was in the library right now. They could sense a yelling match coming on. 

“What’s the point of these extra trials? Geralt looked dead, and for fucking what?” 

“I would tell you to tone down your language, but I know that would be pointless.” Vesemir sighed, “The point is to strengthen the keep, so that we can continue our cau-”

“Bullshit! How does killing groups of kids strengthen the keep?” Lambert snapped. 

“The scouts haven’t come back, our numbers are dwindling. Before Geralt was brought here there was an att-” 

“It’s still bullshit! You’re still killing kids!” Lambert yelled. 

“It’s a sacrifice that ha-” Vesemir started with a sick feeling stirring in their stomach. 

“Do you honestly believe that?” Lambert growled. 

Vesemir was quiet for a moment. 

“I have to.” 

~~~

Geralt made it through the trials. No one else did. 

The sick feeling that had stirred in the library remained in their gut. They wanted to retch as the bodies were burned. 

It was a necessary sacrifice. They needed the strength. They kept repeating it to themselves, maybe they would no longer feel sick if they repeated it. 

Geralt felt awful the first week, and Vesemir watched over him dutifully. Eskel visited when he could but was still expected to study and train. 

Geralt and them talked a lot. About the past, the present, sometimes even the future. Geralt was excited to set out on the path. He had survived something horrific, and they could tell he wanted to believe it was worth it. He wanted to be a hero. 

It broke Vesemir’s heart. 

“Why are you frowning old witcher?” Geralt said with a chuckle, that soon dissolved to a coughing fit. 

After Vesemir gave him some water they sighed, “I’m just worried about you.”

They were both quiet for a moment, then Geralt spoke. 

“You know I don’t have nightmares about her anymore. It still...hurts, but I think I can move on. I can move forward. Thanks to you really. You cared for me when no one else did, and that will always mean more than anything she did for me. You named me, you’re my…”

“Don’t.” Vesemir whispered. 

Geralt nodded, a sad look in his eye. 

“It’s not the witcher way.”


	8. Yarrow - Lambert's Trial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Tonight Geralt shoved Lambert into Eskel's arms, and got in right after him. They squeezed him tightly between them, trying to comfort him when there was none to be given. Uncharacteristically Lambert said nothing, just wrapped an arm around Eskel and buried his face in his chest. He pulled Geralt's arm tighter around his waist, and Eskel moved his legs forward to tangle them with Lambert's._
> 
> _Geralt shoved his nose into the crook of Lambert's neck and took a deep breath, but Eskel knew there wasn't much comfort in his scent. The room was filled with the scent of all of their fear, and there was no dulling it tonight._
> 
> _Eskel wanted to say something. Anything. He was the most eloquent of the group, where Geralt elected to remain quiet and brooding, and Lambert elected to snap and yell, Eskel was always there with soothing words. Though now he couldn't think of anything, it felt like his throat was closing up._
> 
> _All he could do was press his face into Lambert's hair and hope he would know what to say in the morning._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: mention of abus, mention of child death, none of it is as explicit as Eskel's trial

Eskel and Geralt sparred with each other, but both knew their minds weren’t concentrated on it. Both saw fear in each other's eyes, both saw the way their hands shook. 

They knew Lambert was being sat down right now, with all the other children in his class. They knew the masters were there, as were the doctors and teachers. They knew Vesemir was there, stone faced, offering no comfort like they usually did. They knew the doctors were explaining the trials, what to expect, the preparation, the process, the symptoms, and how most of them will die. 

They could both see clearly in their minds how Lambert's eyes would go wide, and his skin would pale. He would want to lash out, yell at them, tell them they shouldn't do this, but he won't. He knew not to do that in front of the masters. He has stayed at the keep for a year now, he knew their anger intimately.

Eskel parried Geralt's attack and used aard, he wished sometimes he could run away from here. It was his home, more than any other place, and he knew he had no where else to go. He couldn't remember the faces of his parents, but he remembered their voices. He remembered soft singing, and hushed tones, but most of all he remembered those voices hardening. Turning cold. There was a reason his parents gave him up, and he'd never forget that. 

So as much as he wanted to grab Lambert and run, he knew he never could. 

~~~

He smelled the fear outside their doorway clearly. 

It wafted across the hall, every kid in that room smelt of it, but one stuck out. That was because he had been foolish enough to care for the little pup and could now pick his scent out of a crowd easily. 

Geralt and him were both lying in bed, arms loosely wrapped around each other. Eskel always quietly thanked the gods that Geralt had survived, because Eskel had no clue how he would survive without him. 

"We should grab the kid." Geralt muttered softly, not opening his eyes. 

"If the masters don't find him in his room in the morning we'll all be in trouble." Eskel replied, studying the cracks in the ceiling.

"It'll be worth it." 

Eskel moved down and pressed his forehead to Geralt's, he opened his eyes and looked at Eskel softly. 

"Now who would've thought that you would care so much about Lambert." Eskel muttered, staring right back. 

Geralt chuckled, "Certainly not I." His expression then grew serious, "I shouldn't though, should I?" 

Eskel nodded slightly, he knew Geralt wouldn't say it, but even though he shouldn't he found himself caring and even admiring the kid. Eskel has caught him on more than one occasion looking proudly at Lambert as he trained. He had caught him on more than one occasion smiling softly at the boy. Even if they fought, Lambert was still able to make Geralt laugh so hard his drink came out of his nose. Not even Eskel could do that. 

Eskel didn't have an answer to Geralt's question. He knew what they were raised to be and what they are. He knew they conflicted at some points. He just knew what to say next. 

"Go get the pup." 

~~~

As Lambert had grown lankier they had taken to not always letting him be in the middle. Geralt would never admit it but he loved to be in the middle, especially on a rough night with vivid dreams. 

But tonight Geralt shoved Lambert into Eskel's arms, and got in right after him. They squeezed him tightly between them, trying to comfort him when there was none to be given. Uncharacteristically Lambert said nothing, just wrapped an arm around Eskel and buried his face in his chest. He pulled Geralt's arm tighter around his waist, and Eskel moved his legs forward to tangle them with Lambert's. 

Geralt shoved his nose into the crook of Lambert's neck and took a deep breath, but Eskel knew there wasn't much comfort in his scent. The room was filled with the scent of all of their fear, and there was no dulling it tonight. 

Eskel wanted to say something. Anything. He was the most eloquent of the group, where Geralt elected to remain quiet and brooding, and Lambert elected to snap and yell, Eskel was always there with soothing words. Though now he couldn't think of anything, it felt like his throat was closing up. 

All he could do was press his face into Lambert's hair and hope he would know what to say in the morning. 

~~~

He woke to their door opening softly. 

All three boys jerked up, fear gripped Eskel's heart, it was _too soon_. 

Anama's gentle scarred face stared at them. At first the multiple claw marks running down her face scared him, but now they brought a strange sense of comfort. 

Her eyes always looked so sad, and they weren't any different today. 

"You're lucky I decided to collect the kids this time, say your goodbyes. I'll be waiting." 

The smell of fear that had dulled over the night came roaring back. Lambert looked at them with wide eyes, fear etched in those deep blues. Eskel pulled him close and hugged him tightly, wishing he could find the right words. 

Geralt tugged him away gently and wrapped him tightly in his arms as well. 

If you had told Eskel that Geralt would be hugging the kid who bit an elder witcher upon being brought to the keep, who would then yell and snap at anyone who got close to him, and that Geralt would care for this kid nearly as much as he cared for Eskel, he would have laughed. 

Though he wasn’t laughing now, for now it felt like his heart was being ripped out. Though he recalled that he wasn’t supposed to have one. 

Eventually Geralt let go. 

“Go to Anama, you don’t want to get in trouble today.” 

Lambert nodded, it truly scared Eskel how quiet he was. Even after his nightmares he would snap and jab at them, and he knew those nightmares terrified the boy. Seeing Lambert practically mute with fear shook Eskel to his core. 

Lambert turned to leave, but then did the strangest thing. 

He whirled around quickly and grabbed Geralt’s arm, and then while closing his eyes tightly he kissed Geralt on the cheek. 

Geralt’s eyes widened with shock but before he could do anything Lambert had moved, and placed a kiss on Eskel’s cheek. 

Eskel could feel his face warm and his cheek tingle where Lambert’s lip touched. He wanted to hold Lambert tight again, wanted to go back to sleep and ignore the trials. He wanted one of his best friends to stay with him. 

Too soon Lambert pulled back, and with a shaky smile said, “You two better be there when I wake up.”

Lambert’s cockiness surprisingly soothed him, Eskel felt the smallest sense of relief as Lambert walked out the door. 

There were no promises any of them could make, no reassurances of survival. 

Though at least Lambert’s last words were characteristic of him. 

~~~

Eskel and Geralt felt like if they ate breakfast they would throw up, so they elected to skip it and start on their chores. 

Eskel briefly thought about sneaking down to the laboratories, to watch Lambert as he did with Geralt, but he knew that would only torment him. 

Vesemir soon walked down, looking as tired and old as ever. 

When Eskel had first been dropped off Vesemir had had a few gray streaks running through their hair, now it was quite the opposite. Only a few brown strands managed to stand out. 

Eskel chuckled lowly, it seemed dealing with all those kids had worn down on them. Geralt’s and his frequent pranks and mischief probably didn’t help.

“What are you laughing at son?” Vesemir asked, arching their brow.

“Your hair’s looking a little gray there, old witcher.”

Vesemir huffed, “No thanks to you, and who are you calling old? I’m just as spry as you two.” 

Eskel tilted his chin upwards, “Prove it.” 

Vesemir arched their brow yet again, this time the faintest smile accompanying it. 

“I bet that I can run the wall faster than the both of you, and if I win you have to teach my classes for a week, properly! No pranks or slacking off.” 

“And if we win you have to do our chores for a week!” Geralt challenged with a grin. 

Vesemir nodded, trying to hide their small smile. 

~~~

Running the walls wasn’t the worst training exercise, that was reserved for the Killer, and it was even better with competition. 

Jumping from platform to platform and dodging boxes was fairly easy, though Vesemir did offer them a challenge. Occasionally signing aard at them. Eskel managed to dodge but Geralt got caught more than a few times, maybe Eskel should have made a bet with him as well. 

Soon Eskel was closing in on Vesemir, and with a quick aard signed at the old witcher’s back he was in the lead. 

Eskel howled with joy, jumping over a box, training yard in sight. 

He felt a brush against his shoulder and turned to see Geralt grinning. 

Eskel felt his breath catch as the sun hit just right, Geralt’s amber eyes lighting up. His hair had started to turn white after the trials, and while Eskel had teased him, now he couldn’t help but notice how it shone like diamonds. 

As they continued to run side by side, Eskel couldn’t help but notice how handsome his best friend was, though he had never noticed it before. Though before Eskel could ponder over it long, his feet were suddenly swept out from under him. 

He barely managed to stop his face from slamming into the stone, and Geralt the ass immediately erupted into laughter. 

“Shove it!” Eskel snapped at the sight of Geralt bent over laughing. At least he hadn’t noticed Eskel staring at him. 

All of a sudden Vesemir ran past them, both the boys quickly got up and gave chase, but it was too late. 

“Seems the two of you will be teaching my classes! You better do it correctly, otherwise I’ll have you polish every sword in the keep, understood?”

“Yes Vesemir.” Both boys muttered. Eskel didn’t mind teaching now and then, but not for a straight week, especially on top of chores. 

“Also, Eskel, don’t get distracted when training. You know that means life or death on the path.” Vesemir fixed him with a knowing look, Eskel fidgeted and moved his gaze to his feet. 

“And Geralt, don’t be a fucking idiot and stand there and laugh. You know the other trainers would make you run the wall several times for it, but today it’ll suffice for you to finish your chores. Now hop to it! Both of you!”

Both boys scrambled to continue their work, Eskel lightly shoving Geralt. 

He tried not to think about that moment of distraction. 

~~~

Eskel felt cold as he walked up to the main hall. 

He knew what news awaited him, the momentary distraction in the courtyard couldn’t dull his fear. 

_Lambert died. I know you watched out for him. I’m sorry, it was a necessary sacrifice._

He was sure those were the words he’d here, he repeatedly thought of them. Maybe it would hurt less if he got used to it. 

He walked into the great hall, Geralt not far behind, to see most of the teachers and doctors eating quietly. Beside them were Geralt’s and Eskel’s remaining class. The rest of the tables were empty. Lambert’s was the youngest group, and they were quite small. That, and no scouting parties have gone out, not since the last one disappeared. 

The great hall remained quiet, only the sound of soft eating and clinking cups and cutlery could be heard.

Eskel grabbed a plate of food and sat in his usual spot, but couldn’t find it in him to eat. 

A few of the doctor’s were missing, and he knew they’d announce the survivors as soon as they got back. 

Eskel didn’t know if he wanted them to hurry up or never appear. 

His feelings didn’t matter though, because soon he heard footsteps approaching. 

Anama appeared first, blood splattered on her clothes and light armor. She cleared her throat and everyone fell silent. 

“Voltehre, Lambert, Hilcird, Ellava.” 

Eskel, instinctively, took off running. He didn’t have to look behind him to know Geralt wasn’t far behind. 

Tomorrow morning they would be expected to train, study, and do their chores, but tonight the masters would only offer a sympathetic smile then look away. Tonight Geralt and Eskel would listen to Lambert’s heartbeat, and desperately hope he wakes up. 

Even though it wasn’t the witcher way, they would be allowed to be vulnerable tonight. 

~~~

Lambert woke up after three days. 

Eskel and Geralt had been taking turns watching him, the other hurriedly doing chores and training then quickly grabbing a meal to bring to the one sitting in. Vesemir would occasionally come in and tell the both of them to go. They tried to act strict, but Eskel could clearly see the sadness in their eyes. 

Vesemir loved teaching and looking out for the kids, they loved staying at the keep and protecting their family. They would say they believed in the necessary sacrifices, but Eskel was starting to wonder if they truly believed that. Hell, Eskel was wondering if _he_ truly believed that. 

When Lambert woke up Eskel had been dozing, head laying near his wrist and letting his heartbeat soothe him. He immediately jerked up though when he heard a light cough. 

“E-Eskel?” Lambert wheezed. 

“Yes, it’s me, I’m right here.” Eskel said leaning forward, looking into Lambert’s new fiery eyes. 

“My throat's sore-” Lambert broke into a coughing fit, a pitiful one that just made him shudder, but Eskel knew was painful. 

Eskel quickly grabbed his waterskin and held it up to Lambert, and once the fit passed he slowly sipped on it. 

They sat there for a few minutes, Lambert sipping water then taking a break to breathe deeply, Eskel watching him like a hawk. He may be out of the woods but Eskel was still scared. He couldn’t quite believe the boy he got so attached to actually made it through the Grasses. 

Eventually the waterskin was empty, and Eskel sat there gently stroking Lambert’s hair.

The silence was eventually broken, because every survivor had a burning question. 

“Who else?”

“Voltehre, Hilcird, & Ellava.” he said quietly. 

He watched as it sunk in, as Lambert’s body tensed, his eyes widened, his new pupils dilating into slits. What surprised Eskel was the tears that had begun to spring. He expected the boy to be sad, sure, but he wasn’t very close with his classmates. 

“They’re all gone.” He whispered hoarsely, squeezing his eyes shut, “They’re all dead.” 

Eskel quickly laid on the bed, and as gently as possible pulled Lambert onto his chest. He rubbed circles on the boys back as he felt his shirt get wet. 

“It’s unfair!” Lambert wailed with a sudden burst of strength, “They never should have done it! They never should’ve tortured us!”

“Ssh, sh,” Eskel hushed, “You’re going to wear yourself out, save your strength.”

The boy huffed, but no longer yelled. 

Though it was a long time before Eskel’s shirt dried.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment telling me what you think! Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
